Muslim experiences in America

I want to talk about my experience in America. I came to the U.S with my family on April 20, 2000. When we go here it was at noon Muslim families were waiting for us in the airport. We have never or talked to these families but the U.N asked them to come. It felt good that someone cared. We were really confused at first we lost track of the time and day. After having lunch at on the the Muslim families house they took us to our house where the U.N had rented for us. It was around Easter time so their were bunnies, eggs, and jelly beans all over the house. Now I know that it was Easter but back then I had no idea. We slept and we woke up went to another family's house. I thought it was around sunrise but afterwards my dad told me that its at night. It is really hard to get adjusted to time because when it is night here it is day overseas. Even though their was one month left for school to end we went to school. I was a 6th grader. I did not speak English at all not even one word. The only words that i knew were YES and NO. At school I knew nothing. Kids used to stare and whisper but I had no idea why and what were they saying. To learn English they used to take me to the library and asked me to open the dictionary and write down the words. It was kind of torture. Because I was just copying what I saw. I got over it after couple of years and I learned English. Kids used to give me hard times because of my Hijab and I heard a lot of words that hurt me especially after 9/11 but I learned to ignore what I hear because they kids were not mature and they were ignorant.

Muslim and Marriage in America

Marriage is a very exciting process in every religion and in every culture. Getting married in a different country is very hard. Finding a man, dating, getting to know the person very well, and finally getting married. It is harder when their are restrictions. The process of marriage in Islam and in the Arabian culture is very lengthy.
First the man goes to the girls house with his family some times with relatives like aunts and uncles and officially ask the girls hand from her father. If for any reason the girls dad is not home or if he is deceased an older brother, an uncle, or a grandfather would be present. The family's and the bride and groom will talk and decide on everything.
Then the grooms family will visit the brides family on a different day and it would be considered a party. The groom will bring gifts for the bride. They will set a date for the engagement party. After the engagement party they will have what we call here a bachelor's party. And finally the wedding. The girl changes 7 dresses including the white wedding dress. This is a tradition.
However, it depends on the family some people don't follow all of these processes because it is time consuming and veryyy expensive. Living in the U.S makes all of this process more difficult since most families don't have their whole relatives with them. And some times the groom has to go to the brides house alone or with friends since most men that come here don't come with their parents.

Muslim and dating in America

Since I'm a girl this is some what important to me. Living in the U.S it is hard for a girl to find a decent guy and date. Their are many rules so she can date. It is hard for a girl to meet a guy and go out on dates. When a guy sees a girl who wears a hijab they kind of have a fear to approach the girl.
The other kind of hard ship that a girl has is that the family has a lot of tough rules. Some parents don't let their girls date men. Some parents don't let their girl marry men who have a different religion. However, some parents are open minded. But it is still hard to find a guy who has the same religion and a good guy so the girl can date. Girls can just date guys for the fun of it. The parents have to know about the dating. Also it is difficult to date here in the U.S because their is a lot of stuff that is expected from the girl. Muslims can't be sexually active before marriage and not physical relationships before marriage. A couple can't live together before marriage. Some parents allow the two to go out in public other allow them to go out but with a chaperone and some strict parents only allow them to see each other in the girls house. It is a tradition more than it is a religion ritual. Their is a lot more to the process. I will talk about marriage on the next post.

Muslim girls and the workforce

Even though it is hard for a Muslim woman to get a job in a foreign country many women try to get in the workforce. Muslim Girls always have goals in their life to go to school major in a career that they truly are interested in and get a job in their field of career. Their are many obstacles but that does not stop them from having goals and trying. When I say obstacles many people may think that these obstacle are family related. For example the parents don't allow their girls to work. Since they have to interact with many men at their work place. However this is not true. When parents decide to leave their own country and come to the U.S they are only doing that for their children. They want their children to have better jobs and a better education then they ever had. For girls most of the obstacles come from the society they are living in. Just like a lot of young girls Muslim girls hope of getting married one day but like most people might not think most of Muslim girls like to finish there education first. Because for years and in the Middle East girls have trouble getting educated and going in to the workforce they feel the urge to get educated and work outside of their country to prove to the world and to themselves that they can be educated and and work .

Muslim girls and College 2

Even though Muslim girls are expected to be modest in everything especially their clothes but that does not keep them from participating in anything they want. For example girls can play any sport they want. Girls don't have to wear shorts or sleeveless tops to participate in a sport. They can wear pants and shirts that have long sleeves to participate in any sport they want. Their are professional leagues in Muslim countries. One interesting sport that is played in Iran is Paint ball, their is a professional girls team for paint ball. Most Middle Eastern usually participate in Soccer because it is a very popular sport in their countries. I know some girls who are not allowed to wear long pants in soccer so they wear short but then they wear tights under it. Girls can even participate in swimming their are special kind of attire for Muslim girls to wear if they want to swim. I know this may sound like "Well what's the big deal?" But some people out their think that just because Muslim girls are expected to be modest they can't do anything "fun" or participate in anything they want. And that is certainly false. Just to put it out their, just like their are family's from every religion who are harder on their children their are also Muslim families who don't allow their children to participate in such things. But from a religious point of view Muslim girls can participate in any sport they want as long as they are modest.

Muslim girls and College

Muslim girls growing up in America have many challenges in keeping up with their social everyday life and their religious life. However many Muslim girls feel that can basically do the same things as their non-Muslim friends do. The only problem facing Muslim girls is to know where to draw the line. And I believe that ALL girls from different religions and/or cultures have to know where to draw the line and say NO. All through out school and especially in College everyone is at least invited to a party once or twice. But for Muslim girls this is not accepted. Since Muslim girls are not allowed to dance with the opposite sex and drink.(This goes for Muslims boys too). However, Muslim girls basically do everything else with friends, shopping, eating out, going to the movies, hanging out with friends, and simply just having FUN. What is also very interesting is that Muslim girls make friends with non Muslims girls more often than they do with Muslim girls. I think this is because in schools their are more non Muslims than Muslims so Muslims have no other choice then to make friends with non Muslims.
Since I'm a Muslim girl and I basically lived most of my life in the U.S this is a very interesting topic for me and I have a lot to talk about and I will do that in the next couple of posts.

Islam, people, and faith

I would like to talk about one of the important things that one of the friends commented about. Why do some Muslims have more faith when they are in America rather than having faith in their own countries? I think that some people just want to act. For example they just want others to see that they have faith but the truth is that they don't they are the exact opposite of what they are doing. The other thing is that faith is not forced on them. Luckily in America people have the choice(most of the time) to practice their faith and rituals or just choose a religion that they have faith in. However, in some countries people are forced to follow a certain religion and in our case the religion is Islam. Their are so many negative things about this. One of the important negative thing is that this shows the world that Muslims are "extremists." I truly don't know what is it that when people have the choice to be "good"(I understand that good is different to everyone) they do but when they are forced to be "good" they don't. I would like to go into the psychological reasons for this but I'm not the person to do so.